Let me state the obvious: I'm a missionary. I've dedicated 18 months to teaching people about God, whom I have a very real and deep belief in.
But why? If the question of why you believe in God does not have a sufficient answer before you go on a mission, this experience will break you unless you undergo some major changing and self-reflection. I can promise that.
I've reflected a lot this week on why I believe in God. This question has been answered by seemingly every profession on the planet. Everyone, from playwrights to physicists have tried to explain why I, as a human being, walk around in the 21st century with a belief in a supreme, all knowing and all loving God.
I am not foolish enough to try to explain every facet of this great question, especially because all I have it a high school education and I'm using my very limited lunch hours as a full-time missionary to write this. I think it is enough right now to say a testimony is very fragile, and it is with this frame of mind I studied this week.
In Alma Chapter 30, Korhor lays all this out to Alma and basically says, "Prove to me that God exists." Alma's response is one of my favorite scriptures because it sums up the entire point of our lives on earth. In vs 40 Alma says..."And now what evidence have ye that there is no God, or that Christ cometh not? I say unto you that ye have none, save it be your word only." So Alma admits - you know what, we can't prove that God is real. But you can't prove that he isn't.
That might seem like a weird way to start out a testimony, but I believe we get in life what we look for. We signed up to come here knowing we would have to make a choice after losing our memory of everything true. By virtue of the plan we signed up for, God cannot blatantly reveal himself to us. To do so would be to effectively take away our agency. To walk around with a sure knowledge that God exists at every moment of our lives would be like knowing the sky is blue - arguments that it's green don't hold up much.
In 2 Nephi 2:11, Lehi says, "for it must needs be that there is opposition in all things." The argument against the existence of God has to be strong., If it was weak and easily dismissed it wouldn't be much of a test, would it? That's why as the church and the good in this world increases, so does the opposition. That's also why as our personal testimony increases, we face immense challenges.
Alma 32 is one of the most famous chapters in the Book of Mormon because of its powerful imagery about faith. But, during my study this week vs. 43 stood out to me in a different way than I have ever thought about it. Alma says, "Then, my brethern, you shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you." I was shocked this week to learn that Bamboo doesn't grow for 6 years. You have to plant it and water it every day and trust that the seed is still there without seeing any evidence that it's growing...for 6 whole years! Then in a matter of two weeks it sprouts crazy high. This, to me, illustrates how important patience is. Really, I think faith IS patience and patience IS faith. We have to trust God even when we don't see any evidence that He's there. We all have "bamboo" periods in our lives and it can be really hard to keep putting effort into a plot of land that isn't giving us any results. But we have to trust. We have to be patient. We have to keep putting forth effort ALWAYS because if we don't, nothings will grow. Not because it couldn't have or because the seed never existed, but because we didn't do what was necessary. How much regret will we one day have when we realize what could have been had we simply kept watering?
To go along with this, I've never been super good at keeping journals. I've only finished one in my life. But before my mission I was reading in said finished journal and something I wrote has come back to me a lot these past three months: "Sometimes God gives us small moments of light so we know we're okay and then we just keep going and hoping we will get another small glimpse of light." This world is beautiful. Life is amazing and incredible and we will all have experiences that leave us awestruck. But life is also hard. Life is brutal and confusing and we will all face challenges that leave us devastated. Darkness is an oppressive feeling, no matter where that darkness stems from.
As I was contemplating this towards the beginning of the week (in the middle of one of my own bamboo moments) I had one of the greatest personal studies that went perfectly with this question of why I believe in God. Here is a condensed version of what happened:
1. Anyone that has talked to me about our religion knows I love Corinthians. There are so many powerful verses in there (including my favorite scripture of all time that maybe I'll discuss another week). I've always really liked 1 Corinthians 13:12 - "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." Keep this in mind.
2. I've also always liked 1 Nephi 11:17 "And I said unto him, I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." I love the trust that is shown in both of these scriptures.
3. So then I read Alma 37: 11 "Now these mysteries are not yet fully made known unto me; therefore I shall forbear." This scripture made me think about #1 and #2 and fireworks went off. Sometimes we look at prophets and other leaders as unshakable, as knowing everything. While we acknowledge they are imperfect humans, surely they never have any doubts, right? False. Paul, Nephi, and Alma and all the other people in the scriptures were doing things with FAR less than the whole picture. They had no idea what they were doing! But they trusted God. They had patience with, in and through him. They knew that they had been asked to do something and they knew God loved them, so they did it with their whole heart.
4. The crowning moment of this personal study was the connection to 2 Nephi 2:5 "But all men are instructed sufficiently..." Sufficiently. I love that word. Life is hard. A mission is hard. Watching people reject something precious to you is hard, especially when you feel like you've invested your entire heart into them. But God gives us just enough direction in life to keep us holding on. To keep us growing.
And all of this is why I believe in God. I believe in God because I choose to. Because opposition is vital in the Plan of Salvation. Because I'm always given light when I need it and darkness when I'm ready to learn. Because "I have all things as a testimony that those things are true." (Alma 30:41)
But why? If the question of why you believe in God does not have a sufficient answer before you go on a mission, this experience will break you unless you undergo some major changing and self-reflection. I can promise that.
I've reflected a lot this week on why I believe in God. This question has been answered by seemingly every profession on the planet. Everyone, from playwrights to physicists have tried to explain why I, as a human being, walk around in the 21st century with a belief in a supreme, all knowing and all loving God.
I am not foolish enough to try to explain every facet of this great question, especially because all I have it a high school education and I'm using my very limited lunch hours as a full-time missionary to write this. I think it is enough right now to say a testimony is very fragile, and it is with this frame of mind I studied this week.
In Alma Chapter 30, Korhor lays all this out to Alma and basically says, "Prove to me that God exists." Alma's response is one of my favorite scriptures because it sums up the entire point of our lives on earth. In vs 40 Alma says..."And now what evidence have ye that there is no God, or that Christ cometh not? I say unto you that ye have none, save it be your word only." So Alma admits - you know what, we can't prove that God is real. But you can't prove that he isn't.
That might seem like a weird way to start out a testimony, but I believe we get in life what we look for. We signed up to come here knowing we would have to make a choice after losing our memory of everything true. By virtue of the plan we signed up for, God cannot blatantly reveal himself to us. To do so would be to effectively take away our agency. To walk around with a sure knowledge that God exists at every moment of our lives would be like knowing the sky is blue - arguments that it's green don't hold up much.
In 2 Nephi 2:11, Lehi says, "for it must needs be that there is opposition in all things." The argument against the existence of God has to be strong., If it was weak and easily dismissed it wouldn't be much of a test, would it? That's why as the church and the good in this world increases, so does the opposition. That's also why as our personal testimony increases, we face immense challenges.
Alma 32 is one of the most famous chapters in the Book of Mormon because of its powerful imagery about faith. But, during my study this week vs. 43 stood out to me in a different way than I have ever thought about it. Alma says, "Then, my brethern, you shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you." I was shocked this week to learn that Bamboo doesn't grow for 6 years. You have to plant it and water it every day and trust that the seed is still there without seeing any evidence that it's growing...for 6 whole years! Then in a matter of two weeks it sprouts crazy high. This, to me, illustrates how important patience is. Really, I think faith IS patience and patience IS faith. We have to trust God even when we don't see any evidence that He's there. We all have "bamboo" periods in our lives and it can be really hard to keep putting effort into a plot of land that isn't giving us any results. But we have to trust. We have to be patient. We have to keep putting forth effort ALWAYS because if we don't, nothings will grow. Not because it couldn't have or because the seed never existed, but because we didn't do what was necessary. How much regret will we one day have when we realize what could have been had we simply kept watering?
To go along with this, I've never been super good at keeping journals. I've only finished one in my life. But before my mission I was reading in said finished journal and something I wrote has come back to me a lot these past three months: "Sometimes God gives us small moments of light so we know we're okay and then we just keep going and hoping we will get another small glimpse of light." This world is beautiful. Life is amazing and incredible and we will all have experiences that leave us awestruck. But life is also hard. Life is brutal and confusing and we will all face challenges that leave us devastated. Darkness is an oppressive feeling, no matter where that darkness stems from.
As I was contemplating this towards the beginning of the week (in the middle of one of my own bamboo moments) I had one of the greatest personal studies that went perfectly with this question of why I believe in God. Here is a condensed version of what happened:
1. Anyone that has talked to me about our religion knows I love Corinthians. There are so many powerful verses in there (including my favorite scripture of all time that maybe I'll discuss another week). I've always really liked 1 Corinthians 13:12 - "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." Keep this in mind.
2. I've also always liked 1 Nephi 11:17 "And I said unto him, I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." I love the trust that is shown in both of these scriptures.
3. So then I read Alma 37: 11 "Now these mysteries are not yet fully made known unto me; therefore I shall forbear." This scripture made me think about #1 and #2 and fireworks went off. Sometimes we look at prophets and other leaders as unshakable, as knowing everything. While we acknowledge they are imperfect humans, surely they never have any doubts, right? False. Paul, Nephi, and Alma and all the other people in the scriptures were doing things with FAR less than the whole picture. They had no idea what they were doing! But they trusted God. They had patience with, in and through him. They knew that they had been asked to do something and they knew God loved them, so they did it with their whole heart.
4. The crowning moment of this personal study was the connection to 2 Nephi 2:5 "But all men are instructed sufficiently..." Sufficiently. I love that word. Life is hard. A mission is hard. Watching people reject something precious to you is hard, especially when you feel like you've invested your entire heart into them. But God gives us just enough direction in life to keep us holding on. To keep us growing.
And all of this is why I believe in God. I believe in God because I choose to. Because opposition is vital in the Plan of Salvation. Because I'm always given light when I need it and darkness when I'm ready to learn. Because "I have all things as a testimony that those things are true." (Alma 30:41)